“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.”
– Charles R Swindoll
Over the years, I have been blessed with some of the most amazing friends in the world. Seriously. I can’t even imagine where I would be if it weren’t for them. I’ve spent a lot of time ignoring their advice and their cautionary concern for my well-being. Sometimes I forget that they know me better than myself.
So here are all of the things I have forgotten to thank you guys for.
1. Thank you for sticking by me through my shitty relationship.
God. I don’t even know where to begin on this one. Even when I stayed with the biggest asshole in existence, you all still tried to accept my relationship. You supported me and only wanted me to find happiness, even if you didn’t agree with who I was trying to find happiness in. You weren’t afraid to tell me when I was allowing myself to be treated like shit, but you were still there for me every time he hurt me. I can’t imagine what was going through your mind as you watched me take him back over and over again, despite the abuse he was putting me through. Thank you for not giving up on me and helping me realize I deserve better than what I had been settling for.
2. Thank you for always being patient with me.
SERIOUSLY. How are you so patient with me? I am pretty sure I am one of the most frustrating individuals on the planet. I’m back and forth, up and down, changing my mind on things CONSTANTLY. I am frustrating and aggravating, and I know this because I get upset with myself 8 times out of 10. Whether you’ve sat up with me all night while I cry, watched me repeatedly make poor decisions, or you’ve watched me destroy something potentially great for me, thank you for never getting upset and walking away.
3. Thank you for not judging me for my mental illness.
I know, trust me, I KNOW that this is not what you signed up for when we became friends. No matter who you are or how long we’ve been friends, nothing could have prepared you for the mental illness cocktail that is in my head. I never imagined my mental illness would be as debilitating as it is, but you have never walked away from it. You embraced every diagnosis as it came, and helped me find the resources and support that I need to help me deal with my own head. There is still a lot of progress to be made, but thank you for sticking by my side through some of the most confusing and frustrating moments of my life.
4. Thank you for never making me feel like a burden.
I hate feeling like a burden. HATE it. It is the worst feeling in the world to me. I hate feeling like I am making people help me or like I am taking time away from something more important in your lives. You have never, ever, made me feel like a burden or a problem in your life and I am forever grateful for that.
5. Thank you for loving me unconditionally.
It used to be that whenever I thought about unconditional love, I thought of it in a relationship aspect. If there is anything I have learned over time, it’s that unconditional love can come from anyone in your life. For me, you all have been the biggest example of unconditional love for me. No matter how many times I fuck up, hurt myself, make shitty choices, frustrate you, lash out at you, or breakdown, you are always there reminding me how loved and cared for I am. You have never let me believe that I am alone through any of this. You have no idea how much it means to me to know that, no matter what happens, I have people in my corner who will ALWAYS be there. It’s an incredible feeling to know that I am always going to be loved and cared for. Thank you for never, ever, letting me forget that.
Seriously. You guys are amazing. I am blessed beyond words to have you all in my life. These relationships we have built together are ones that I know will last a lifetime. Thank you for allowing me to be such a huge part of your lives.