Today was a bitter-sweet day. Today, I said goodbye to the place that I have called home for the past three years. Today, I left 1C, the home where I have built some of my best, and worst, memories.
There are so many things I wish I could forget about that place. 1C was where I had my heart broken, not once, but twice by the same man. It was where I watched the cops collect my clothing and go through my vehicle the night I reported my sexual assault. It was where I was planning a life with the man I thought I was going to be spending the rest of my life with.
I texted Hubs this morning, full of dread as I thought about going back over there. Of course, he gave me some great advice.
“Instead of thinking about all of the things that make you upset, for each room, think about the memories we made that made it happy.”
And that is exactly what I did.
I walked into 1C and looked around at the now empty walls that used to be filled with pictures and quotes. I paced through the hall way and looked at each room, trying to push back the negative memories and focus on the good.
While I was standing in my kitchen, all I could think about was the night that my sister and I sat on the counter eating Dairy Queen by candlelight because the power had gone out. Or, the night that Hubs and I made 6 different dishes to take to our annual Friendsgiving in just a couple of hours. For a moment, I forgot all about the fact that this was also the room where DF first told me he wanted to be with me forever. My mind was flooded with positive energy and memories that made me smile. The Kitchen in 1C may not have been very big, but it was definitely full of memories.
When I walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room, I started laughing. Immediately my mind thought of the night Anra came over and we were lying on the floor listening to the new One Direction album and screaming for no reason (I may have been drunk). There was the night my sister and brother in law came for the weekend and we sat in the dining room playing an intoxicated game of go fish. I still think back on that night and laugh. Or the time my sister came to see me on her own and we took incredibly horrendous selfies together in the wall of mirrors. That room held so many positive memories that I had forgotten about before today.
Walking into the bedroom, my chest felt heavy. This was one of the hardest rooms for me to be in. At one time, it held so many unbelievably happy memories that now break my heart. I started going through the closets that I hadn’t emptied yet, where I found so many old pictures of my friends and I. I started to remember all of the memories of that room, that didn’t end in getting my heart broken.
Like the night I called Hubs in a panic because I was having flashbacks. He drove over as fast as he could just to sit with me until I calmed down. Or the year I had tonsillitis on my birthday and he brought me Spider-Man themed cupcakes and we sat in my room and ate them. Well, I ate the icing because my tonsils wouldn’t allow for anything else.
Or, the night Lauren and I cleaned my room and she ended up stealing my clothes and dressing up in the most ridiculous outfit, dancing around my room like an idiot.
Finally, I walked out to the living room, my favorite place in 1C. I can’t even begin to tell you how many incredible memories were made in that room. It seemed like the living room was always full of friends, which is really what made 1C so special.
It’s where we brought Mr Hank home for the first time.
The countless nights my friends from church came over. Having dinner, playing music, goofing off.
The many nights spent writing music, trying to learn the guitar… and failing.
The endless nights spent with Cory and Lauren. Just sitting there, talking about life, both the good and bad parts of it. That apartment saw each of us through at least one heart break.
Friendsgiving 2016, the first and probably last time, we had our whole “family” together. Eating way more food than necessary, including my epic disaster that I tried to call potatoes, playing absurd games, dancing around the dining room… those are the kind of memories I want to remember about 1C.
As I locked up the apartment, I teared up a little. 1C was my home for three years. 1C was a constant in my life, and after I locked this door, it would no longer be mine. And even though I love my new apartment, a part of me will miss all of the memories we made in that place.
I am sure there will be many new memories made in my new home, maybe even better memories than we made in the old apartment, but the memories that were made in 1C will continue to hold a very special place in my heart.
We had some good times, didn’t we? See ya later, 1C.